Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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