you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
