Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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