the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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