haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
