the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
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