dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
