actually, I'm a sock model
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
