***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
