I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
