I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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