Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
