i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I AM VODKA MAN
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize