I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
