We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
