weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
