I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
