I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he was CRYING into my vagina
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i think i just lost a toe
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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