How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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