i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Randomize
