I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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