also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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