How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
