drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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