that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
