you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
