Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
