unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
