I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize