**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
