can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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