i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
