sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
this will be a night to untag.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
