Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
