If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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