I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
