Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
