My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
