Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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