You smell like stripper and shame
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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