So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Houston, we have a blender
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
don't judge my taste in strippers
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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