TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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