summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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