lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
