obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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