so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
