I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
