Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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