Your tits are I can't wait for
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize