then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
