ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
