Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
