I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
