dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
