I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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