TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
