This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
