In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
