sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
